A Monster of a Website

It was a dark and stormy night…

The hiring manager picks up her smartphone looking, hoping to find someone, anyone who can help. The thunder crashes and the strobe of lightning flashes through her office window. She sees a shadow, hears a creak in the floor behind her. She turns. 

Nothing there. She turns back to her phone, opens the browser and searches “recruiters.”

She sees them, but doesn’t believe it—creeping and crawling, some of them ancient, seemingly dead. Her thumb moves, as if controlled by another, morbid curiosity fueling the click.

What horror…is this?

The haunted hall of websites

The Wolfman….Wolfwoman….Wolfperson?

It saunters across the screen, fresh and seemingly well designed. It looks … pretty. If it had hair, it would be perfect but, as she attempts to click through, the fog rolls in, the digital forest darkens, the moon opens like a giant lidless eye and she hears … a blood-curdling howl … and realizes it is her own voice. 

She thought this site looked great. But trying to find her way through it is a nightmare—total dysfunction. Nothing seems organic and the sitemap is confusing. How many clicks does it take to find what she actually needs? No one knows … because, after wandering into this seemingly harmless site, she was never heard from again.

The Vampire

This was once someone’s baby, a pet project that, at the time, so many years ago, gave them the edge. This site was a pioneer but somewhere along the way it met a dark, menacing creature that transformed it into the thing she sees before her. 

Now, it roams the shadows of the web, luring unsuspecting travelers like her and its owners of the precious time and money it takes to keep such an abomination in its current state of undeath. Surely, such a wretched creature should be staked through it’s digital heart to make way for the modern and the living. 

The Witch

She seemed like a sweet old lady, offering an apple or candy or a spell to make the hiring manager’s open position more visible, to give the prestige she was looking for, to solve her marketing issues. It was a cheap and easy solution, but by the time she realized there was no such thing, it was too late and she had her in her clutches. 

Now, she assails visitors with popups and malware and ads. They call, email, message, but to no avail. The agreement contains no provisions for support, unless you’re willing to pay … extra … You got any first-borns handy?

The Skeleton

The client clicks and turns onto a long forgotten corner of the internet and it is just lying there. It clatters, it’s jaw moving like it might speak, but no words come out. It might be frightening for the fact at one time it was functional, walking around, doing stuff. But it is now a broken husk of what it once was, pieces missing, barely loading. 

Flash is dead … and it’s never coming back …

The Goblins

They are everywhere, moving independently, seemingly related but with no real direction or cohesion. They cackle and shout and scream random things in the deep recesses of the web, indifferent whether any soul hears them or not. Their total recklessness is terrifying. They are chaos incarnate. 

Social media is free … or is it? You sign the agreements and sell your data to anyone those grimey, scheming tech giants want. It starts with one and then trends hit and—before you know it—you’re creating content for multiple platforms with no clear direction, further muddling the image of your brand, obscuring who you are and what you offer like a well-timed cinematic fog. 

Frankenstein’s Monster

The ultimate and terrifying DIY project. You had the best of intentions. You just wanted to create something but then it went LIVE. Its messaging was beyond unclear. It looks off … crudely stitched together, like its creator didn’t really know what they were getting themselves into. It was a foray into uncharted territory, a grand experiment, but ultimately a tragic expedition.

Now this monstrous website lives among the wilds of the internet, frightening those onlookers unfortunate enough to run across it. The thing might be functional, but it looks like the walking dead, judged by users before they can even get to the heart of what you do. 

The hiring manager steps from behind the curtain, pale as a specter. There is a noise behind her. A broken chatbot pings over and over and over… She opens Indeed and begins to post. Dun dun dun…


At Recruiters Websites, we want you to avoid the things that go bump in the internet, to build a site that reflects you, not who you once were or what you think is possible. Contact us and together we can turn your creature feature into a digital success story.

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Cole Windler

Cole Windler is a copywriter and SEO expert. He uses his creative writing background to create fresh, compelling and customized content for Recruiters Websites clients.

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